"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." - Nelson Mandela

Mandela sinks himself into own depths and floats through introspective moments to produce qualitative changes, from childhood ignorance to personal awakening, which bring a life-changing intensity to his transformational leadership. Ridgers (2014) develops the idea of autobiography as a kind of writing marked by introspection, which is ‘a way of describing the self while at the same time extending the self.’ In other words, self-introspection is not merely ‘self-examination’, but reveals the extent to which the ‘inner’ of the self has evolved.

 

From time to time, Mandela reflects upon different stages and values of life to explain that the self-now is the person he is because of these past moments. Relying on self-introspection, Mandela gives an account of his inner life – sensations, ideas and emotions that shape and transform him, through the process of confession of error, self-alternation and self-actualization. Therefore, the acts of self-introspection are tightly bound to advance the theme of transformation – how a man realizes his ignorance, breaks from tradition and finds his own voice for freedom and liberty.

 

In Mandela’s younger years, he held his belief in the “university respect the regent enjoyed – from both black and white” and the “seemingly untempered power he wielded”, that guaranteed individual an equal access to “achieve influence and status” (24).  His account of childhood indicates that he was not aware of the actual political situation in Africa. A pride of being the Thembu reached its heights at the time of circumcision, a metonymy of manhood (34):

I remember walking differently on that day, straighter, taller and firmer. I was hopeful, and thinking that I might someday have wealth, property and status.

 

He recalls the speech made by Chief Meligqili, which darkened his gaily colour dreams, as the Chief challenged the tribe to a solidarity among all Africans who were “conquered people… slaves in our own country… have no strength, no power, no control over our own destiny in the land of our birth” (35). In his own words, Mandela reflects on this initial moment of political enlightenment, “I was cross rather than aroused by the chief’s remarks, dismissing his words as the abusive comments of an ignorant man who was unable to appreciate the value of the education and benefits that the white man had brought to our country.” Taking an introspective narrative, he confesses his error (36):

I realized that the ignorant man that day was not the chief but myself… Looking back, I know I was not a man that day and would not truly become one for many years.

 

This act of introspection has marked as an early sign of transformation. Through establishing a genuine confession of his past ignorance, he was subconsciously ready to transform from an apolitical country boy to a real man who was “eager to see how [he] would fare in the wider world” (37).

 

In Johannesburg, his working experience as a night watchman in a gold mine and a clerk at a white law firm had confirmed him either publicly or privately the larger context of colonial oppression experienced by all blacks. Upon his return to Mqhekezweni, he comes to realize his evolving self (97):

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered... But I realized that my own outlook and world views had evolved. I was no longer attracted by a career in the civil service... I was even informed that My Xhosa was no longer pure.

 

His self-introspection has struggled out the illusion set in childhood, and gradually progressed to the beginning of self-alteration. Given that self-introspection is a process of “self-questioning and self-discovery” (Augustine, 1999), Mandela started questioning himself, “I still felt an inner conflict between my head my heart… Was I not permitted to make my own choice?” (98) – a critical moment when he chose not to follow his pre-determined path.

 

The second stage of self-alteration happens during his study at Fort Hare in Johannesburg. This self-alteration, however, cannot be done without his own reflection towards the city, as he writes (103):

…in my life in Johannesburg, I confronted these things every day. No one had ever suggested to me how to go about removing the evils of racial prejudice, and I had to learn by trial and error.

 

This personal movement from country to city is a modernist narrative of the journey from periphery to center, which is also a time of his political awakening, growth and commitment moving towards the center of the formation of his self-conscious image. His graduation at Fort Hare offered him a moment of introspection, where he learnt the importance of liberal values and racial equality, and chose to discarded his old presumption of a “successful and secure” (102) career path. In fact, the acts of self-introspection have created self-unity, fashioned by the process of trial and error – his inner self has gradually shaped and become stabilized, paving for the road to a lifelong dedication to fight against racial oppression. In the end of this phase, the conscious self, through critical reflection was evolved, in the mind of the African Patriot, “I found myself being drawn into the world of politics because I was not content with my old beliefs. (102)” His thoughts changed and ultimately became united.

 

Accounting on his gradual conversion to the commitment of life, he is totally conscious and determined (109):

 “I had no epiphany, no singular revelation, no moment of truth, but a steady accumulation of a thousand slights …… produced me in an anger, a rebelliousness, a desire to fight the system that imprisoned my people… Henceforth I will devote myself to the liberation of my people; instead, I simply found myself doing so[.]”

 

From being aware of his naïve fault to realizing the universal value of a just and equitable world order, Mandela eventually shows readers his self-evolution as a freedom fighter. Knowing that the attempt of overthrowing apartheid would call for struggle and sacrifice, he becomes merged to a large extent that he set himself to fulfilling the task of transforming Africa from a white-only to a rainbow nation. It is through his acts of introspection that keeps him on course to achieve his dream of a free South Africa and awakened in his actualized form of a “proud rebelliousness, a stubborn sense of fairness”.  

 

Without those years of self-introspection on Robben Island in which Mandela was imprisoned, readers would have never known the kinds of episodes he has gone through, that shaped him a revolutionary leader. In his early life suffused with rites of passage, in particular his initiation to manhood, his naïve thought has been “circumcised” when the older Mandela confesses the wrong he made, “Looking back, I know I was not a man that day.” (36) This sense of incompleteness is corrected when he begins to question the earliest beliefs of white men as benefactors. Over time, his worldview has undergone radical changes after entering Johannesburg, as shown in reflection. The acts of self-introspection allow us to see an epic of confession of error, internal alteration and actualization of self, that build up his leadership – the consequent transformation of young man who grew up in rural Transkei without a “hunger to be free” to a man who fights for freedom. Most strikingly, he has transformed not only himself, but the whole country.